It’s Christmas. Breathe.

A few reflections on making spirits bright, from my corner of the world . . .

Season’s Greetings:

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Yup.
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Get it?

 

It’s Beginning to Look a Lot like Christmas.

Sort of:

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Understated Elegance.
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This one has an outhouse.

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

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No Christmas village is complete without one.
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Toe pick. Y’all may need to Uber over to the Blue Lotus.

 

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They tasted good. Mostly.
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“Christmas Cubism” My child is a prodigy.

 

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Nothing says “Christmas” quite like an artificial cow’s head . . .
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. . . unless it is a bear’s head on your own front door. (Only at Target, in the wreath section.) “Welcome Friends!”
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Pork Slider

 

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Move over, Rudolph.

 

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When you realize that you’ve forgotten to buy one last teacher gift . . .
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So you grab this on your way out of the grocery store. “To a Special Teacher”

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

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Or, maybe this . . . paint not included.

 

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Cup of Good Cheer.
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Fingers crossed that Santa brings these.

 

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Or this. Low bar people.

 

“Scary Christmas!”

Breaking and Entering

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Don’t worry, kid: It’s just a large, bearded stranger sneaking into your room, while you are sleeping. (And we wonder why kids scream on Santa’s lap . . . )
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Rest assured, we are vigilant. There are severe penalties for breaking and entering.

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

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. . . like decapitation.

 

 

 

 

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Not nice, Frosty.
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This is what happened to the last snowman who was rude.

 

 

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Hit and run.

There are also steep penalties for violating noise ordinances . . .

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Parents Beware: This holiday program is NOT kid-friendly.

Flu Season – Always Merry.

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What kid wouldn’t smile through a flu shot ?

Especially after all that convincing clinic propaganda around town:

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Fisher Price shots don’t hurt as much.
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This was an actual ad. “Please Mom, can we go there and get a shot? Please?”

 

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“Upon hearing she had to get a flu shot.” My firstborn was not persuaded.

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

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I just couldn’t here.

 

Sleep in heavenly peace.

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I grew up with this “caroler”. At some point she gained weaponry, and still manages to look creepy and festive at the same time. We all sort of avoid her.

 

 

Holiday Inflation

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I think the chronology is a bit off here.

 

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At first the dragon threw me off, but I’m going with “Christmas-Chinese New Year fusion, with a penguin segue”.

 

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Shy Santa.
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We all knew he’d grow out of it.

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

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Christmas, before and after . . .
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‘Tis the season for impulse buys. Frosty, is it getting a little too warm there?

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

Deflated Inflatables

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Santa and Rudolf, hung over. (Too much Eggnog.)
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Or maybe lactose intolerance.
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Defective top hat. But he’ll be back again some day.

“A Way (Off) In a Manger”

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Apparently the First Christmas was actually at the North Pole. And one of the Wise Men had second thoughts about giving up the myrrh.
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“(Not so) Silent Night”
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But, “All is Bright . . .” (Heart burn or perhaps just a bit of radioactivity.)

 

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Lexus called. It’s an intellectual property thing.

 

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If you’re going to vandalize the sign, at least take the baby with you for consistency (upper right).

 

Post-Christmas Fallout

I saw a series of these at a store just after Christmas. That employee deserves a raise.

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You and me both, bear.

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And back to hibernation, quick. There’s a price on your head.

 

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No wonder they talk in high-pitched voices. At least there’s a year to recuperate in storage.

 

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No time to waste. Easter is only three months away, and already on sale.

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

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